


learning to listen

by Mayarene Rose (Paradise_of_Mary_Jane)



Category: Titans (TV 2018)
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, post s02e11
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-20
Updated: 2019-11-20
Packaged: 2021-02-16 06:36:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21503500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Paradise_of_Mary_Jane/pseuds/Mayarene%20Rose
Summary: “Are you done being stupid?” she asks. “I’m not talking to you if you insist on being stupid.”“I’m not being stupid,” he says.She doesn’t answer, just keeps on looking at him. It doesn’t take him long to break.“I’m not going to do anything stupid,” he repeats, more firm this time.Dick and Donna talk.
Relationships: Dick Grayson & Donna Troy
Comments: 7
Kudos: 84





	learning to listen

**Author's Note:**

> Listen.... I don't like Dick and Donna fighting. I really don't.
> 
> ~~Also the writers don't seem to know what they want to do with Donna so she's mine now~~

Once they’ve saved Gar and burned Cadmus to the ground for good measure, finding Dick felt like child’s play. Or maybe that was just her. She knew him best, and figured he’d run at some point. And she knew exactly where he’d go to.

(Somewhere high. Somewhere dangerous. Somewhere familiar. Somewhere he feels guilty.)

She sends a text to the others, telling them they’d meet up in the morning. She’s sent Dawn and Gar ahead. It’s probably for the best, since she found him standing on that cursed chapel’s roof, right at the very edge. She’d be scared, but she can fly and has superstrength so.

(She’s still scared, but for very different reasons.)

She flies up to him, looking him straight in the eye. He refuses to meet her gaze.

“Are you done being stupid?” she asks. “I’m not talking to you if you insist on being stupid.”

“I’m not being stupid,” he says.

She doesn’t answer, just keeps on looking at him. It doesn’t take him long to break.

“I’m not going to do anything stupid,” he repeats, more firm this time. 

“That’s good to know,” she says. “Sit down then. I brought beer. We need to talk and we’re meeting the others tomorrow morning.”

“Jericho’s alive,” he says. “I can’t--I need to find him.”

She raises an eyebrow. “That’s new,” she says. Kory and Rachel told her about the message carved on the prison wall, but it’s different hearing it from Dick’s voice. He sounds sure, and Dick’s unreliable about a lot of things, but never about this kind of thing. Nonetheless… “But it doesn’t change anything. Tonight, we’re going to sit here, have a few drinks, and we’re gonna talk.”

“Donna--”

“Sit down.”

Dick looks at her for a moment. Then he sits. Donna nods tightly, settling down beside him and handing him a beer. Dick’s not looking at her and she suddenly finds herself at a loss. She came to him with a lot of bravado and bullshit, but neither of those would be useful right now.

“So.” Donna says, biting her lips. Dick looks equally unsure, thank the gods. Neither of them really had to deal with this kind of thing before. “Talking. We have to talk.”

Dick presses his lips together before heaving a deep breath. He can’t seem to meet her eyes as he takes a long swig out of his beer. Donna does the same. Drink, that is. It hurts to look at him, but she’s never…

She’s _trying_ not to run away from her problems.

“Okay,” Donna says. “I’ll start. I’m sorry.” She holds up a hand when Dick opens his mouth. “No, let me finish first. I am sorry. You needed us to be there for you and we did the exact opposite and… it hurt you, though you’ll probably never admit to it. _I_ hurt you and.” She pauses. “I’m sorry for that.” _I never want to hurt you._

She can’t make herself say it, not because it isn’t true, but because she’s pretty sure it doesn’t mean anything at this point. Donna knew exactly what she was doing when she did it, knew how leaving and walking away was just breaking them even more, but…

The truth is, she can’t _stand_ being in the tower anymore. She understood what Dick was doing and she wasn’t against it, but being back in that place felt like dying. She kept passing Garth’s room and hearing his quiet laughter, kept seeing Jericho out of the corner of her eye, and she _hates_ it. 

Ghosts. The tower had too many ghosts. Dick tried to hide them, but Donna wasn’t any better. All she did was run away at the first opportunity. At least he tried to lay them to rest.

“It wasn’t your fault,” Dick says firmly. Still so sure of his own guilt that it’s enough to drive her crazy. “I fucked up and--”

“This isn’t about whose fault it was,” Donna says. “This isn’t about blame. It’s not a contest. You don’t win anything by being the biggest fuck up. We _all_ fucked up and hurt each other and I’m sorry for it.” 

Maybe it was all their fault or maybe it wasn’t. Maybe they made some bad choices or maybe they did their best with what they could. Everything got tangled up so quickly and Donna’s stuck in a tower that was once her home with her best friend who can’t even look her in the eye. She’s so tired of losing sleep trying to find the right answer.

“Donna--”

“When did we start lying to each other, Dick?” she asks, cutting him off. “When did we start keeping secrets? When did we stop telling each other things because we were _scared_?”

They never did any of that because they never had to before. Not because they haven’t done anything terrible, but it never seemed terrible enough to be left unsaid. The two of them have always been there for each other and it never occurred that there’d be a world where they can’t do that.

That’s the problem when you grow up with someone that seems to fit perfectly with you; you never really learn what to do when you’re out of sync. She and Dick never _learned_ how to talk, because they always just understood. They always just said what they needed to say, and when they didn’t, it was because it didn’t need to be said.

But there are some things that do need to be said, no matter how much it hurts to say.

“I wanted to tell you,” Dick says quietly. “Every day, I wanted to tell you what happened.”

“I would have listened,” Donna says. She wouldn’t have understood right away, but if things had been better, if she had been in a better place, she wouldn’t have left. She likes to think so, anyway.

Dick lets out a breath. “That’s what I was afraid of,” he says. 

“I wouldn’t have forgiven you,” she says. That’s not what he’s looking for, anyway. Not from her. “But I would have listened.” 

Dick looks down, staring at his bottle like it could give him all the answers. “Yeah, well.” He doesn’t sound like he believes her, which.

She doesn’t blame him.

A secret for a secret. A hurt for a hurt. She thinks that’s how it works.

“When…” she says. “When I went after Slade, I was going to kill him and I was going to make it hurt.” There had been no doubt in her mind. Even now, she still can’t quite get rid of the memory of Garth’s heartbeat slowly fading into nothing. “I wouldn’t have regretted it.”

Deathstroke brought out something feral and savage in her. She wanted to wrap her lasso around his neck and feel the life slowly trickle out of him. 

“He turned me into something I couldn’t recognize,” she says. “He scared me more than anything else, and when Jericho died… I don’t know what I would have done if I stayed. I never blamed you, but I couldn’t help you, either. Not then.”

Jericho’s death had been an excuse. She needed to leave because she would have become something she hated if she didn’t. She doesn’t regret doing it, but she does regret leaving Dick behind.

“You should blame me,” he says. “I did get him killed.”

“Don’t pull that bullshit with me,” she says. “You know as well as I do that it wasn’t your fault. Deathstroke killed Garth and Jericho, and now he’s trying to kill the rest of us. Don’t let him win.”

“He’s already won.”

“ _Fuck_ that,” Donna says. “He hasn’t and he isn’t going to. The fight isn’t over while we’re still breathing.”

There’s a pause. Donna doesn’t she think she believes her words, either. It’s hard, but maybe if she says it enough, it’ll be true. And, she’ll drag Dick up with her if she has to, along with the rest of the Titans. She’s done running away.

Dick looks up, watching her through his eyelashes. Donna’s gaze doesn’t waver.

“I really don’t like fighting with you,” he says quietly.

She snorts, taking another drink. “Me neither,” she says. “We’re not even good at it. We lasted, what, a week?” Three days. It wasn’t really that long, but every moment of it was _excruciating._

“Felt longer.”

“Yeah, well,” she says. “That’s what you get for getting yourself _arrested_ and sentenced to 7 years in prison.”

Dick lets out a quiet laugh. “What happens now?”

“I don’t know,” Donna says. “Aren’t you the man with a plan?”

“Not this time,” he says. “I think we’ve established my plans are terrible. Maybe a change in leadership is in order.”

She rolls her eyes.

“Well.” Titans tower shut down years ago, but people don’t just stop _being_ Titans. Being a Titan meant being friends, first and foremost, meant being _a family._ Five of them lived there, but there others. Heroes with their own cities and responsibilities, but always ready to be there when needed. 

And if what Dick said was right… If Jericho was still alive… 

Friends. They had friends. They had more than enough friends to beat up one man in a mask.

Dick opening up the tower had been a cry for help. Pretty badly timed, and probably towards the wrong people, but it is what it is. The ones who answered had their own baggage to deal with, but they know better now. Deathstroke never had any idea what he was up against.

“Slade wants the Titans doesn’t he?” she says. “Then let’s show him what the Titans are actually capable of.”

**Author's Note:**

> Basically, in my head, all the 1966 titans are canon, which may not seem like a lot.... but they're a lot. If the writers joss this, the writers are wrong.
> 
> I'm acediscowlng on tumblr :D As always, comments give me life.


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